Life as I know it.

Was I meant to stay, or was I meant to go?
Now there is an answer I’ll never know.

What was I left behind for?

I’ve been trying to work out all this while.
Trying to find out who I am and whose shoes in, do I walk a mile?

Things I thought were my purpose, clearly were not.
Or was it just not the right time, who knows, at the moment it’s not what I’ve got.

We live life thinking we know it all, have everything under control,
It’s always going as per plan, we think, till it all comes to a stall.

It’s only then we choose the path to ourselves, only then we try to restore our inner shelves...
Realising the clutter and chaos within,  not knowing where to start or how to begin.

And then we see the storm for what it is,
Its much more than what we thought it could ever be...

The chaos within is not just ours, but everyone else's mess, you see.
The burden we carry of generations before us, being more them at times, and being us, less.

Then the journey of unpacking begins, the journey to break patterns and clear all things.
Understanding the lives we've lived, the generational patterns that exist.

Don't know how to start, when to stop and how to give it a rest.
It becomes a repeat cycle, for one to be aware, and life then is a constant test.

There is just so much to take in, to understand and ask from within.
The answers come in different ways, be prepared they said, but how?
This new life is here to stay. And we don't ever get away with our old ways.

Change is the only constant they say, this is true of this new life, of these new ways.
Its what comes from within, change you asked for, change up to restart, to begin.

The path to connecting with yourself is hard, what comes up and out,
its not something in your charge...

But keep walking the line I'd say...
Keep your head above water and keep up the faith.
Trust the good days and the bad, live them like nothing you've ever had.

For faith will take you through and show you,
What's meant for you, will always be there waiting for you. 

In Pursuit.

I can’t move.
I can’t breathe.
Gosh, I feel so weak.

It’s dark and gloomy.
Outside and inside.
Gosh, it makes me so bleak.

My world full of color,
Today seems dark and grey.
I sit tight, I know I have to pray...

Pray through the darkness, pray through the gloom...
Pray away till my darkness starts to bloom.

It’s the last stretch,
Where we tend to lose hope...
Blindly grappling for every last string, every last rope...

I know it’s just a matter of time,
But giving time time, takes time...
I need to find the strength within,
to help lift me up, and restart... begin.

That maybe something for me to do tomorrow,
But for today, I lay here... in my puddle of sorrow.

We have to learn to live it... not just the good, but the bad and the truth of it all...
Without being present, we just can’t process...
And without processing, we just can’t access...

Where we came from, where we are...
Forget where we are going, just to even stay at par,
With who we truly are and the essence of us...

Do you really know you?
Is it someone you trust?
Would you let you in?
Would you be your own best friend?

It’s time to start asking the questions,
To our own hearts and minds...
For answers we could never imagine...
To be our own best friend, in time.

Making me, mine.

When you’re trying hard to be your own best friend,
but feel like you don’t want to be.

It’s hard from time to time, to keep smiling and be happy...
no matter how blessed we be.

Why is it so hard, to face our fears and our demons?
Even when we embark on that journey, it doesn’t always feel fulfilling or healing.

I know I am on the right path, I know I am doing all that I can...
Just to see a glimmer of hope, the light at the end of the tunnel, just a sneak peak into my plan.

Days likes these are constant reminders that the path I picked is far from easy.
Keeping me real and grounded, but far from being lemon squeezy.

One step forward, two steps back, is what it feels like from time to time...
but I guess we just have to keep pushing, to be able to really make me, mine...