Some of the things that make me... Me

I might not be someone's first choice,
but I am a great choice.

I may not be rich,
but I am valuable.

I don't pretend to be someone I'm not,
because I'm good at being me.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and love like I'll never be hurt,
but I'm fearless and willing to do that.

I might not be proud of some of the things I've done in the past,
but I'm proud of who I am today.

I may be emotional at times,
but that is also because I'm human.

I may not be perfect,
but I also know that I don't need to be.

Purpose

Well defined...
Healthy...
Loving...
Caring...
Happy...
Fulfilling...
Peaceful
Gracious...
Blessed....

All that I want in life... my life... my families lives... and as a family together... and for my family one day...

Saying something

You won my heart,
With the silliest of things...

You made me fall in love,
With the simplest of things...

It feels like you are a part of me,
Trying to show me a little bit of me...

It is always about the little things,
And you get that about me... 

You...

... are the one who made sure you caught my attention
... are the one who made sure you left a mark
... are the one who made sure I didn't have a chance to think of anyone but you
... are the one who made sure you got all the small things right
... are the one who made me feel good about me again
... are the one who made me feel loved/cared for again
... are the one who made me know I was missed and thought of
... are the one who dared to do things you didn't have to
... are the one who didn't know what to do... because I was unplanned
... are the one who didnt know what hit you
... are the one, maybe, who bit off more than you could chew
... are the one, along with me, who didn't think we'd get here... and that scares you
... are not the only one to have been burnt in the past, yet...
... are the one who is unsure and taking your time

... are the one who does not want to acknowledge how you feel... but...
... are the one who doesn't get tired of asking me why I love you!
... are the one who is a child, and loves being one
... are the one that needs someone to take care of him

... are the one who is a wannabe meanie... cause really, you are just simple and sweet at heart...

... are the one with the big dreams...
... are the lazy ass who isn't doing anything about it...

... are the one who misses me and doesn't say it enough...
... are the one who loves me and wont say...
... and I, slowly, get to know you... and love you more...
... and I, always, miss you more... :)

Rose tinted always...

There I go again...
Being myself...
Walking down the path...
Doing what I have to do...
Being told a million times, not to let myself bare again...
But I can't help it...
It is who I am...
It is what makes me... Me...

There I go again...
Opening up my sould...
Letting you into my  thoughts, hopes, dreams and fears...
My spirit, my future... Me...
Being as naked as I can be.
No holding back...
As always...
Does that scare you?

There I go again...
Making something I want to make...
Building something I want to build...
Trying to live a dream I've dreamed for a long time coming...
Am I doing the right thing?
Will you let me down or help me fly?
Wait a minute... Do you even want to try?

There I go again...
Thinking too much...
Doing too much...
Trying too much?
Missing too much...
Forgetting the essential thing...
Patience.

There I go again...
Opening up my sould...
Letting you into my  thoughts, hopes, dreams and fears...
My spirit, my future... Me...
Being as naked as I can be.
No holding back...
As always...

There I go again...
The difference is...
Now I see... Now I be...
In the moment and nothing more...
Realizations, so many..
Expectations, none...
Patience, enough...
Known in theory, applied in practice...

Is it always about you...
So, till you decide...
I will keep my rose tinted glasses on...
The same ones with the slight cracks in them...
Hoping and wishing...
Not to add another crack...
But even if it does get added...
It doesn't change the fact that...
My glasses are still rose tinted... :)

Things...

movies with you...
endless chats...
random arguments...
you knowing how to tick me off...
you knowing how to make me ok...
dancing around like crazy...
listening to music...
random drives and dinners every now and then...
you holding my hand while driving and changing gears...
the little things that you always knew...
your want to see me...
your want to know me...
our hopes and dreams...
our hugs...
our kisses...
our time...
us...

... I miss...

We fit...

Your hand and mine...
Your arms, around me...
Your shoulder and my head...
Your embrace and my comfort...
Your understanding and my gaze...
Your hug and my safe place...
Your lips and mine...
Your eyes and mine...

... We fit ...


Before I say it... You know...
Before I think it... You know...
Before I feel it... You know...

You made me... See...
You made me... Be...
You made me... Feel...
You made me... Me...

Love vs. Fear

In life, we learn as we grow... Rather as the years pass, as the experiences and interactions increase...
Life happens, life and time teach. Blessed are those who see and learn along the way, and blessed are those too who need to keep going through experiences to make their journey worth the while.

One of the most recent realizations for me, which I always knew, but actually executed very recently is knowing that all decisions made are made out of either fear or love... each and every action of ours can be connected to either of these emotions. 

The decision and choices we make out of fear are not wrong... just differently driven... But once you realize that the choices driven by love are FAR stronger and have a much higher, positive impact, you wonder why the hell you were driven by fear in the first place. 

We need to do things in life that make US happy. Its easier said that done, but it needs to be done. Not to mean that we need to be selfish, but, selfless with maybe some 'me' time would work better :)

A very recent switch in my thinking made me realize this. When I stopped being fearful of silly things, or worrying and over thinking things... I noticed that in the moment, I make all my decisions and choices out of love. And it made me happier. Which in turn, made everyone else happier too. Spreading smiles, hugs, happiness is what we should all want to do at all times. The world will be a happier a place, and so will your own space. 

Fear can become like a beast... an inner beast we all have, need to acknowledge and live with. The challenge is to live cordially with it and not let it take over. We must traverse life alongside that inner beast and come to peaceful terms with it. :)

Life is happening constantly, we all have a past, and the future will be. For now, we must learnt to live in the moment, and make sure we are conscious of our choices and decisions. Also trying to make sure they always come from love and not fear...

Love vs fear... Love wins hands down... :)

Here...

Here is where I found me...
Here is where I found you...
Here is where I understood... All that you needed me to see...
Here is where I learn...
Here is where I yearn...
Here is where I see... What life has taught me...
Here is where I come... When I need peace...
Here is where I come... To iron out any crease...
Here is where I can be... Whoever it is I want to be...
Here is where I want to be...

Because if not for here... There would be no me... 

What if... ?

I want to marry you...
Have kids with you...
Build us a house together...
Settle down and grow old with you...
Die in your arms with i'm 110 years old! 
I want a lifetime...
I say things like that and you fight the urge to run int he opposite direction...
Its okay, I understand...
I didn't, but now I do... 
You're just getting started and I've been doing this for a long time now...
Deep down, I'm there... and you're not ready yet... 
So...
I'll wait...
I'll wait and wait until you're ready...
But what if... While I'm waiting, I meet someone who is ready to give me what I want from you?