Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Staring out the window...


So here I am... at work, trying to get things done, taking it a little slower than normal... Staring out the window on my left... Totally BLANK! I look at the grey sky... and the buildings around... and I can't seem to think of a thing...
I feel totally numb... Don't really know why... but I feel the need to just be curled up in my blanket with a book or crying to make myself get over with emotions and just get back to normal...
I look back at times and see myself in happier times... and wonder what was so different then...
Is this what life is about now? Is this what being a grown up means? Is this what we work for? To go to bed at night and wonder where the thrill in my day was? This is not me... This is not what I want...
How do I get that back is the question... That's a journey that I'm taking and will get to the destination only when I'm destined to...
That's why I wonder why we don't have a heads up to life sometimes... :) I just need something to look forward to ... Something I know will make my day better no matter what...
Just as we think we're getting into a comfortable zone... Poof, the cloud of smoke comes up and you realise that its not true. If only it were THAT easy :)

ANyhow, its time for me to snap back into reality... a new reality to me... Not my reality... Not where I really want to be... back to being carefree... BEing myself, being there for others the way I was... The same me who was in touch with everyone and crazy enough to not care about anything when I wanted to talk to someone, see them or just surprise them :)

Well as anyone else would, I wait and see where, when and how I get there... :)
This is me, off for now!

2 comments:

Rahul said...

God that is beautiful, This is the most beautiful thing i have read for quiet a while,expressing emotions so beautifully that it awakens them even in the people who read it. I read some of your other posts also and they are wonderful too, keep up the good work and never let the fire die.

Rhea Malvai said...

Thank you very much Rahul. I have just recently told myself that I need to keep this up... I had forgotten this side of me for a while in the middle...

I'm glad that's how you feel when you read my pieces, that's what I hope to get... Hope that I can stir up some emotion in people while sharing mine. :)

Thanks once again for the compliment!