Feel like you're going crazy? Try the serenity prayer!

Ever felt like something is driving you mad? I recently had the fortune or misfortune of feeling like I was going mad. I felt like my world had been so shook up and I couldn't figure out head or tail. I was really thinking that everything around me was driving me mad and making me think of things I never would have thought of. Being alone was scary because being alone meant 50,000 thoughts in my head which I didn't want!!!

MAn, its the first and the last time I want to be in THAT space! Dear Lord, give me the wisdom to know how to steer clear of these spaces! Phew!

You know, when you want something bad enough, you're willing to go through anything for it. I guess that is when you end up walking into these spaces in your life which you never knew existed. Something similar happened to me lately. I'm glad it didn't take me that long to snap out of it. I know some people who are much less fortunate and get stuck in a downward spiral and do not have the strength to get out of anything. Even if they are offered help to do so.

Anyhow, back to my going mad feeling. Everything that you go through is some kind of learning. If you look at life like that, it makes it easier to handle, accept and move forward with. I've learnt that I cannot let things get to me. I need to draw clear lines for myself, my wants, my needs and the people who share certain spaces with me. As long as I know what I want, I shouldn't bother about what the world thinks or wants me to think/do about it. I need to know that I can do everything in my hands to make sure I get what I want. If I don't end up getting it, it wasn't mine to begin with. But I know that I never want to look back in life and wonder 'what if' for anything.

'What if I hadn't given up?', 'What if I'd given it more time?' these and many more questions I never want to have to answer to myself ever. Actually, I don't want to be asking myself those, leave alone answering them.

I have to take each day as it comes, live it the way I'd like it to be, and be happy and grateful for all around me. The food I eat, the people I'm with, where I live, the clothes I wear... Everything... Absolutly everything!

And in the times I feel weak, I look for strength within me and in my faith. Have a little prayer that makes me see things in a better way. I'll end my yet another random post with The Serenity Prayer.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the courage to change the things that I can. And the wisdom to know the difference."

a few quotes that struck a cord...

"Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine."
~Anonymous

"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”
~Anonymous

“Faith makes all things possible.... love makes all things easy.”
~Anonymous

“Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods”
~Anonymous

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”
~Anonymous

"Love to pray. Feel often during the day the need for prayer, and take trouble to pray. Prayer enlarges the heart until it is capable of containing God's gift of Himself. Ask and seek and your heart will grow big enough to receive Him"
~Mother Theresa

"There is a polish for everything. There is a polish that takes away rust; and the polish for the heart is the remembrance of God."
~Prophet Muhammad

"The fruit of silence is prayer.
The fruit of prayer is faith.
The fruit of faith is love.
The fruit of love is service.
The fruit of service is peace."
~Mother Teresa

“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
~Anonymous

“Where there is FAITH, there is LOVE; Where there is LOVE; there is PEACE; Where there is PEACE; there is GOD; Where there is GOD; there is BLISS.”
~Sri Sathya Sai Baba

“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.”
~David Viscott

“Prayer is the key to Heaven, but faith unlocks the door.”
~Anonymous

Smiling a whole different smile...

There are so many things in life to be grateful for! :) And I for one am really really happy that I have had a few things work for me in one way or the other. I am at peace with myself and most situations in life at the moment! :) And I look around and I am grateful... :)

Grateful for the life I've had...
Grateful for the people I've met along the way...
Grateful for the experiences I've had with so many different people...
Grateful for all my learnings....
Grateful for the love that surrounds me..
Grateful with being blessed with just who I am, as it allows me to spread the love and joy the way I'd like to...
Grateful for the family I have...
Grateful for the decisions I've taken...
Grateful for the risks I've taken...
Grateful for having the courage to stand up for what I feel right and let go of what I feel wrong...

This list is not even the tip of the iceberg (this one is a superficial one even if you look at the details I could go through at this point. Wishing for world peace at a beauty pageant just doesn't cut it! :p)
There is so much more I can go on about... Life, our understanding of it, the knowledge and openness of looking at things from a wider angle... so so much more...

But in short... Right here, right now... I am smiling... Because I love the way I feel... and am grateful for being able to feel it! :)

Need I say anything more?

... missings...

What is it that you feel when you miss someone?

At different times, and for different people there are different emotions... :) Happy missings, with all happy thoughts bringing smiles to your face! Sad missings, thinking of the people you've lost in life... All sorts of missings with everyone and all the memories you've shared with them!

Memories... What a great thing, most of the time. :) The thought of an incident, an evening, a line said, a smell of a perfume, a song that was once danced to... can bring back so many emotions... can change so much of your current world! :)

Most of the times, I feel happy when I miss someone... I know they are important enough in my life to miss! :) And most of the people who I'm close to, will always have a few things if not more that will ALWAYS remind me of them. A song mutually liked, a number danced to, a place enjoyed at, food cravings that were shared, chats that made our worlds change or realise similarities and differences... SO SO MUCH and MORE!

Its a great feeling to be able to feel. You know someone is that important to you... and to hear it back is even better... To know that you're important to someone else too... It really can change your world around... A tiny example to share... something that makes me melt. I have my aunt's two kids who I am very close to and love very dearly. I see them often even though we don't live in the same city. But seeing them everytime, getting those real loving hugs and kisses and hearing how I was missed and making sure they know how much they were missed too... Changes our worlds for us. Everything else doesn't matter... It doesn't exist. A night over with a good night hug and kiss and an 'I love you' and a good morning wish very alike. With hugs and kisses and cuddles... What more does one want in life! :) These are the small things that make us who we are... are the important things in any relation! :) Makes you realise the other person's worth! :) And makes you realise how much you miss them when they are away! :)

Distance always helps puts things in perspective... one way, or another! :)

I miss you!

Old scribbles! :)

I was going over a few websites and came across a site that was created by a few friends, to blog about thoughts of different people in different parts of the world. We had thought we'd chose a few topics and all blog about them. See the different thoughts on the same topic that would come up. The different styles of writing and all! :) We all wrote under an alias which was super cool I thought! :) And when I was reading the old posts, it brought back such a smile to my face...

Good times, when worries were less, emotions were carefree and life was just plain simple! :)
*Sigh*

Its okay to ache...

There are certain times in one's life... (a few times actually) when one has to put up a brave face... As long as you don't know what is happening, you're okay and its easier for one to handle it. But then there are certain things you do not wish to know about... You chose to ignore them to be able to be at peace mentally and emotionally... The problem happens when you end up hearing about it from all corners of the earth! Its a true test of strength and courage to see how you pass the test...


The gamut of emotions that one goes through is insane. But as long as your head is screwed on tight, you come back and stop at all positive thoughts. You may pass negative thoughts, you may feel pain, ache, anger or anything, but the important thing is that you come out in the positive with flying colours... You can chose to hear things you don't want to and concentrate on them, or just let them pass out the same way they came in...

So ya, in short... its okay to ache, just as long as you don't lose the faith...

Spring Cleaning...

Ever stood in front of your cupboard to see clothes overflowing... ??? Things you wear are okay, that's the normal stuff, things you don't wear, which are just occupying space and irritating you at every glance you take...!!! Till one fine day, when you turn around and say enough is enough... ! Time to spring clean...

You take everything out one by one, look at what you love and put it aside. You know that's not going anywhere... :) Whether its been bought recently or something that is 14 years old but still in mint condition (or not)! Then there are things which you kinda wear, they kinda fit you but since its convenient you keep em around. Or they just fit you like a glove and the thought of not having them around cannot even cross your mind... ! :)

Then you go through the others with the thought in your mind saying, "yea, I can keep em around, not that I use them very much, but just in case". It doesn't look too bad, and doesn't look too good either... Okay okay types... Backups, but they are still YOURS! Then you realise that there are somethings which you liked, but didn't realise how bad they made you look! You were blinded by your own self. Your loved ones had told you at some point or the other to reconsider keeping it, or not to buy it even, but you were just so sure of yourself that you had to have it. Oh well, we all make mistakes... Only when the times comes is when we need to look at it and say... "ya, you, BAD CHOICE!" and bung it in the dustbin.

This process for different people can take either half an hour in a day, or a whole day itself... Depends on the kind of person you are. Thinking about something a few times? Or just making a quick decision or just not wanting to think about it at all, and in turn you end up pushing away the task for a later time. Sometimes pushing it away for a lot later, which turns out to be a tougghie, because it is THAT much harder to sort things out.

This analogy might not be perfect... But recent events in my life have lead me to do that same exercise with some people in my life. I for one, don't think this is the right comparison, but its the first one that came to my life... Spring cleaning can be for your drawers, cupboards, house, car and more so even your own life. We need to take the time of day once in a while to look at ourselves, look at the life we're living, what is helping us in being better people, what is not helping us in being better human beings, who around us is a positive influence and who around us is draining the life out of us for no reason. Who makes you want to be happy, be better, bring out the best in one self and who is giving us grief directly or indirectly, or making us react in ways that are not natural to us, or even just bringing about negative energies.

We are all old enough to know what is best for us, and there are certain things we must go through to be able to learn in life. Our life is a constant learning, there will be things throughout our lives that will constantly teach us and our hunger to learn should never die out. The day you think you know it all, and you've seen it all... trust me, that's the day you're done for. Dooms day to you! :)

So... Just wanted to get this off my mind. Spring cleaning time it is... for me. :) Here's to a cleaner, more peaceful, happier, brighter, calmer and pure life aheaD! :)

... midnight banter...

Try me, test me...
Bring out the best in me...

See me, be me...
Just don't think you know me...

One must not try and push someone away to an extent that it makes it harder for the other person to be able to deal with a situation... be humble, try and do the best for everyone... If there are testing times, be as patient and as nice as you can to the ones around you, to be able to stand through the test that has presented itself. Being cynical towards it and pessimistic towards it only helps you not see those trying times through and end up doing something stupid... Being patient and nice in those times, seeing them through correctly, positively and happily, not only increases your karmic score card, but ensure nothing but the best coming your way... Be humble... that's another very important thing.

The problem is, in today's day and age, there are not many people strong enough to believe in life, hope and faith. Tainted by experiences and negative influences, they have to look at the world from that side, because god forbid they try looking at it from rose tinted glasses for too long! It scares the living day lights out of them. Everyone is quick to put the blame on others, but forget to look at themselves... One needs to address their own needs and wants and beliefs before they think about talking to or helping others with theirs...

I truly do feel blessed to have some sort of foresight... I do see things and life in a different light and like to keep it that way. There is nothing that can break and shake my faith... Its time some people start seeing that... I'm at a point in life, where different people will be seeing different parts of me... Welcome to my world... DARE you to try and shake or break it... :) My faith, hope, love, strength and patience will see me through it all... :)

Wind Beneath My Wings

This is a song by Bette Midler... The lyrics go something like this...

It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

This song was sung by a student in our school at the very first graduation ceremony. I still remember how most of the teachers, if not all were in tears. The fact was, that these teachers had seen all of us grow. From primary school till the time we passed out, we had the same set of teachers... We spent 8 hours a day with them and that was more than the time we spent awake in our homes with our own families.

If you look at it, at some point in our lives or the other, we can definitely dedicate this song to people who are important in our lives. Who help bring out the best in us. Our parents, a sibling, a friend, a loved one, a husband, a boyfriend, a wife, a girlfriend and the list can go on.

The important part is that we recognize these people in our lives and give them the due credit they deserve. They need to be told how important they are in our lives. How they have affected our thinking, how they have made us see the world and our lives differently, how they've pushed us to be better humans and be ourselves, and improve ourselves!

To all the people who matter to me... to the ones I love with all my might, at some point or the other you can come into my life at the right time to teach me something or the other... Some have stayed, some are around... Some have been taken away and some have become distant... Just know that I do love and cherish you all and thank you for being a part of my life... My Journey.

This post is more so important for the recent developments in my life... That have made me think differently about life. Think out of the box. Made me realize and want certain things in life... And made me realize that if some things feel right, they are worth the wait... and everything we want, does come our way when it is meant to! :)

God forbid we don't get it, or something comes in the way... Be patient and have faith to know that if god shuts one door, he'll surely open another one. You just need to be ready and willing to walk through it... But I'm sure, my hope, faith and prayers are strong enough for me and my loved ones! :)

On a totally unrelated note... Another line from another song... "Just call my name... and I'll be there... :)" ... This shall be a post for another day... If that day comes... :)

Living life in a just a little bit... :)

Sometimes, we feel the need to know what tomorrow has in store for us. Only because there is a head vs. heart battle. The logical feeling post that is wanting to know how things will pan out before time and questioning things around. 'Why' is the biggest question... If we had the answer to it, life would be a bit boring if you ask me... We are meant to live life, and enjoy every moment of it. No matter how it pans out.

Enjoy and cherish the good times, and the bad times. Know that we are meant to go through whatever we are going through for a reason.

Have you ever realised how in just a little time, you can feel like you've lived your life. The feeling of having seen it and done it all... :) The feeling of not fearing death even if it comes your way tomorrow. There are some moments in life that bring you this feeling. I used to say that I never have any regrets, and if I go tomorrow I have no complaints... That hasn't changed. Its just that I felt that there would be a lot more for me to live and experience... but if I were to go, it wasn't in my destiny... Now, I feel a little differently, I dream, and I feel like I want to go through that and live my dreams. If its my destiny to live the life I dream for myself then there is nothing that can stop me from doing that. The universe conspires to ensure you get what you want (i don't think it thinks too much about what's right or wrong... that gets left to us, i'm guessing).

Anyway... again another pointless and directionless piece I guess... Just wanted to speak out for feeling blessed, lucky, loved, respected and overjoyed... :) It'll be hard if dreams don't come true... But MY faith and hope make me believe they will. :)

One day... :)

Ever get the 'AARRRGGGGHHHH' feeling?

So, there we go, living our lives, doing our thing, and suddenly, one day it decides to rain confusion! FROM ALL ANGLES!!! What do you do? Try and figure things out, sort it out with a calm mind, strategize and try to sort it out... run outta options yet??? Once you run out of options is when the 'AARRGGGHHHH' feeling sets in...

So close yet so far kinda way...

You have something around all time... and all of a sudden you realise that you're so so used to it... the minute you realise that you are used to it, it starts to be seen in a different light. The minute you start to see it in a different light, it starts to seem even better, the minute that happens, one starts to get used to it... The trouble is, all this is good... till the time reality bites and you realised that this may be what you want, just not what you can have... It may or may not be good for you... but all you know is that you want it...

Its like showing a child a candy and saying, 'you can't have it'!

Heart vs Head... the battle begins... all in all, normally the heart wins... But there are certain cases where the head just doesn't give up... Its a never ending battle... that only happens cause in most cases the head is right and doesn't give up the fight... When the head wins... that sinking feeling sets in... and then you get the 'AARRRGGGHHH' feeling REALLYYY bad... Its the time when nothing, just nothing can make you feel better... Its the time when all you wanna do is scream out in frustration cause nothing makes sense...

I know this post has no head and no tail... I just needed to pen it down... Do the right thing, live your life well, be good, wish others well and nothing less... let the 'AARRGGGHHH' phases come and go... Because you're one of the lucky few who can feel it...

Last but not the least....
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!