A New View

"Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans"
~ John Lennon

I have truly come to understand the meaning of this with a recent turn of events that had taken place in my very own life.

Till now, we used this line lightly, when superficial plan didn't go as per our liking, or we had to make peace with things we didn't get etc etc. But recently, I thought that I had finally overcome a few hurdles in life. Mentally, emotionally, physically and otherwise... Felt like things were finally getting back on track. I was joining back work, something I was unsure of in my journey for so long. Longing to be back in the company of people I enjoyed being around. Working, learning, doing so much more. Friends getting married! Weddings to attend. So much travel on my agenda...! :) So much good coming my way. I was truly at peace to see hose my life seemed to looking more and more perfect on paper! :) And I for one, jumped in head first! Over excited about work! :) Happy to be back! Attended the first friends wedding! Super excited...

Till the day I had a series of blackouts. A week of trying to figure out what went wrong and a zillion tests later, we came to know that I had a few things off inside of me, most importantly, that the lining of my heart has some inflammation, causing some restriction of space from time to time. Nothing too serious, nothing to worry about. Nothing some LONG term medication wont solve. However... I am going to need to take rest for 3 months (if not more) and live a calm normal stress free life till I'm better.

For anyone who knows me, even a little, can understand the meaning of the last line of the previous paragraph...

Anyway... There are many ways I can approach this. Be upset and angry about it. Because all my plans in life have been thrown off course... OR be grateful! Grateful that I'm alive, didn't drop dead. Grateful that no matter the seriousness, I have something that is curable and fixable with some serious heavy duty meds... Grateful that maybe something worse was meant to happen and this is just a smaller form of repentance.

Another way of looking at it... A friend told me... "Rhea, God saved your life this year. There has to be something in return done for that. This is maybe what you need to go through for him saving your life" That too can be so true. They say, 'kuch paane ke liye kuch khone padta hai"

Another thing was, that God is recharging me battery. I am one of his lucky few he does this to. :) Duracel batteries in me are getting recharged! :) So I will be up and running as soon as they finish charging. Hopefully they dont take too long. I'll be all ready as new and good to go! ;)

I have family and friends who love me dearly, some of which are even angry at God. For putting me through this. And I beg them to look at it differently. Never be angry at God. If he puts you to it, he will ensure that he will see you through it. There is a reason for everything that happens in life. No matter how much we feel like we make our own destiny and our own life, people need to understand that what is written is what will happen. The earlier we learn to accept this the better.

There is no better way to explain this. My situation is a perfect example. After contemplating going back to work, everything was sitting perfectly for me to go back to work. Everything is ready and set. And this has now changed course for me.
I had planned to travel to New Zealand for over a year. Tickets were bought a year ago, itineraries had been planned for the past 6 months or more now... No one knew I'd be cancelling my tickets 3 DAYS before the date I had to fly out...
A load of my closest friends are getting married. One after the other. I was to attend all weddings... In my very own city... and now... I cannot attend even one of them...

I am not upset, or angry. I know everything happens for a reason, and I am meant to go through this for whatever reason... But it sure has changed my view on certain things. More so to prove, what is meant to happen, destined to happen... will happen. And there is nothing you or I will be able to do about it. Life is so much easier to accept and live happily if you start understand these codes of life and the universe. The earlier the better... :)

With all my love, to all who read what I write! :)
Rhea*

MaKeS SeNsE!

I recently read this:
"Stay Calm, Do Kaam"
I have another one...
"Don't be snappy, Be Happy!"

Go where the tide takes you,
Be what you want to be,
Dream any dream you want,
And see anything you want to see.

Don't take time for granted,
We don't know what tomorrow has in store,
Make sure you are happy and playful,
Don't let you life be a bore.

Look around and see who is there,
All the love that surrounds you

Sketching and Typing... bring it on! :)

The view from my window, has never been like this before,
If nothing else, I know, that my mind will never let me bore...
From the dark tales to happily ever after stories,
My mind wanders with this view, and comes up with a story of glory!

*Mush and Happy* :)

Okay, however mush this post may sound... I have to! :)
I have recently come across a song called 'Hona tha pyaar' by Aatif Aslam and it is soooo nice! Its soft, gentle and just perfect in so many ways! :)

I am going to write out the lyrics... and maybe scribble a few lines after! :)

Hona tha pyaar, hua mere yaar...
Aaye nazar chehre hazaar...
Hona tha pyaar, hua mere yaar...
Tere dil ke sheher main, ghar mera ho gaya,
Sapna dekha jo tumne, woh mera ho gaya,
Doobe to yuh, jaise ho paar...
Hona that pyaar, hua mere yaar...
Thame dilon ki baahein, hum aate saalo mein...
Paye jawab hum ne, Tere sawalo mein...
Khwabon Ki dor, toote na yaar….
Hona tha pyaar, hua mere yaar...


It is funny, how life pans out and teaches us so much along the way. The thing is, its good to know what you what, but it is VERY important to know what you DO NOT want! :)
Our complex situations in life teach us, give us and our souls the opportunity to grow.... :)
We should see our past as tests... some we passed in the first go, some that took us longer to get through...
Once you start looking at life like so, forgive everything gone by... you'll start being a happier person! :)

I have gone back to my dreamy ways... and happy go lucky self! Brighter skies and rose tinted glasses are back on! :)

Bring on a new wave, I am all set to go...
Let the world see and be a part of my new show...
Bringing in the cheer and spreading the joy...
Cause really, there is no point in being all quiet and coy! ;)

Here's to good and happy times... and the bad and sad times... we must except them all and be equanimous to them all! :)
Know and accept that everything changes, everything passes, everything moves on... :)

Just a few lines!

Dare to dream,
Be like that stream,
Making its way down the hill,
Without looking back and enjoying the thrill,
No matter what comes in its way,
Passing it by,
Its the only way to be,
Without which one will never see
What life means to thee... :)

Winds of change :) :) :)

Inspired... :) Thank you LifeScholar, for bringing me back! :)

Inspired by talking to someone very dear to me... I jotted down these lines... :)
Just small reminders of what makes us, 'US' and makes us different...
Not afraid to live, not afraid to love!
Life is interesting when we think with our hearts he said, our brain is not called 'grey matter' for nothing...
*EUREKA* SO true! :)
This post of mine is dedicated to you, LifeScholar, for bringing back my smile this morning, and making me realise, that we are who we are for a reason, and that is exactly what makes us different...
I'm back to making life interesting :) ;) see you soon!


We must have dreams... without them, we are nothing,
Dreams make us want good, want more, want everything!
They make us restless and give us the drive to go get it all,
And that we MUST do, without the fear of having a great fall!

Without desire, life is a little plain and mundane...
Its having that desire, the rush of having it, that makes us go a little insane...
Without these, life passes us by in a jiff...
We look back and say to ourselves, "damm I should have lit that spliff" ;)

We exist because we must, we co-exist, because we trust... :)
We wear our heart on our sleeves, because there is no where else it'd rather be...
We love, through which we explore,
Dare to see sides of ourselves, that otherwise we'd never know!

As we go along, through the highs and lows,
Making our way through the wows and the blows,
We make memories that stay with us for a lifetime,
Our learnings and experiences, that are milestones on our lifeline!

The point to see, is the way to be,
Through it all, for eternity...
Without happiness, faith and love,
There is no grace from anyone up above... :)

Dare to dream, dare to be,
Dare to love and dare to see.
Sing a song in any room,
Skip to a beat, of a catchy tune.

Be funny, be happy,
And the day will no longer seem dappy.
No matter what, have hope and faith,
That love will show you all the ways! :)

Love everything you see,
Being able to love is the only way to be!
Love your parents, Love your car,
Damn, I say, even love a scar!

Love life, love family and friends,
Who comes into your life for what reason and sets what trends,
You'll never know and see,
Yet know, that they have a reason to 'BE'

I can go on and on forever more,
So before I start to be a bore,
I shall say good bye and hope and pray,
For your happiness and the gift of love, for you all in every way! :)

Chadte suraj ki nayi dastaan...

Kya hua agar hum gire the,
Gir ke uthna hai humne seekha,
Kya hua agar waqt bura tha,
Uska samna kar ke aage badhna hai humne seekha...

Yeh zindagi hume bahaut kuch sikhati hai,
Aage badne ki sehenshakti dilati hai,
Jo bhi padaav aage aane ko hai,
Unhe paar karne ka rasta bhi hume dikhati hai...

Main kaha thi itni pehle pareshaan,
Zindagi se naraaz nahi, thi main hairaan,
Ab meri soch ki hai kuch alag hi pehchaan,
Jaise naye chadte suraj ki nayi dastaan...

Har subha ab lagti hai thodi meethi,
Har shyaam main hai ab ek jaam,
Apni soch badal ke meri nazaron se dekho,
Aur na poocho humrari zindagi ka kya hoga anjaam...

Jaan ke kya haasil kar loge,
Na jaan-ne main hai ek alag mazaa,
Zindagi ka har ek jiya hua kissa,
Banjata hai humari kahaniyon ka ek mehetvapoorn hissa...

Badi daer baad aaj dil lagta hai halka,
Thodi si khushi main hi hai uchalta, machalta,
Chand logo ki wajeh se aaj mera mann aur dil hai aisa,
Jinke bagaer, shayad hota murjhaye hue phool jaisa...

Aage kya hoga, kya koi jaane,
Aaj main jeene ki li hai zid maine thaan,
Upar waale pe hai mujhe poora bharosa,
Ki aage zindagi se na hungi main pareshaan! :)

I am the Right Brain!

"I am the right brain. I am CREATIVITY. A free spirit. I am passion. Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter. I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feet. I am movement. Vivid colors. I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas. I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel. I am everything I wanted to be."
source: TED

Lunch with God (Twinkies and Root Beer)

This is a story I just read... But HAD to share... just too good!


A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of Root Beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an elderly man. The man was sitting in the park just feeding some pigeons.
The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie. The man gratefully accepted it and smiled at boy. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer. Again, the man smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the man, and gave him a hug. The man gave him his biggest smile ever.
When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy? "He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? God's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the elderly man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked," Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?"
He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God." However, before his son responded, he added," You know, he's much younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!
~author unknown~

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love.
Whoever lives in love lives in God,
and God in him.

Break Away...

You say to me the time is wrong... after everything between you and me that has gone on...
For once I think I agree, there is nothing more that I need to see...

If you and I are meant to be, is a question only time will have the answer to...
For now I think it best for me to keep away from you...

It is exactly what you asked for, and that is what I have to give...
To help me get my head back on track, from all that's just kept me depressed...

Its like a well known man once said... Its all about connecting the dots...
But one can only see how they connect when we look back, not ahead of us and the lot...

I need to break away from you and the world...
Find my own ground once again, away from this world...

A gamut of emotions I haven't felt before...
Seems like I have forgotten what to do, as though I don't know how anymore...

I really am at a loss of words... maybe its time for me to be that way...
Life beckons... I need to listen... I reckon...

Whoever wants to be a part of me and my life... Will be there...
Its all about the degree of the 'want' I guess...
Anyway...

It is always about the small things...

Something or the other happens everyday for me to believe more and more in the fact that its always about the small things. The little things in life are what really matter...

A friend who knows you, knows what you are made of, know exactly what to say at what time, or what not to say at what time...

You know yourself well enough to know who really cares...
They say the right thing at the right time in a way no one else dares...
If its an instant reaction, a bar of chocolate or a song that reminds them of you...
They will make sure they do all they have to, to be able to get it through to you...
There may be times they know it all, and times when they know nothing...
But that doesn't affect what needs to be done, even if it means to be sitting, chilling and enjoying doing nothing!
The small getaway lunches, the distracting chats and the messages that bring about cheer...
In our hum drum lives, to take us away from the bad moods and take us out for a beer...
Friends old and new do small things at times that make us realize...
That without the small things we really wouldn't have much to our 'happier' lives... :)

Silly kinda mood, but been smiling away to glory realizing how much small things really really matter. Ever so grateful for the people around, god's been kind to surround me with so much love! :)

THank you all and here's to spreading the cheer!

Dreams and new directions... :)

So I've been thinking... If someone was so to ask me what it was that I wanted to do, what would I see myself doing? Honestly, a 9-5 behind a desk just wont cut it for me... I have been there, done that, and am back to it. I do it because I have to, but that's all really...

I see myself, living by the water somewhere... Running a little cafe, having the time to read, the time to paint, have music running all the time, have my dog there... :) Meet new people coming in and coming by all the time. Taking a walk, meditating, meeting new people, having my friends over... :) all the good things really :) Fingers crossed I get this one day. I really hope and pray this happens. Live there, far far away from all the issue of city life, lead a simpler and happier life! The complexities here really don't impress me much... And by here I mean in big cities. It takes courage in today's day and age to say goodbye to a well paying job and take a risk to do what I want to do... And if I were ever given this opportunity, I think I will take it on...

Anyway, here is to my dreams... and the image stuck in my head... :)

Brighter days... :)

You know in your heart... when you have seen bad times, low moods, dingy corners of your own self, and made it out safe and alive and feeling better, that there is nothing more/better than being hopeful! It really pulls you through! :)

When everyone tries everything in their power to make things a little bit worse or hard for you, and you see yourself stand though it all... (yes there may have been times when you were a little shaky) but overall came out standing tall... Its a brilliant feeling...

Live life to the fullest. Never look back and NEVER regret a thing... I know I don't! Also, look back and make sure you did everything in your power that you wanted to do in situations you found yourself in. And when you've done all you can and things still don't go your way... Know that there is better in store for you. Or maybe just the time wasn't right for what you wanted... Have faith in life and the course it takes... At the time it might seem like you're living a tragedy, but when you look back its a wonderful feeling. The learning about others, yourself, your emotions... there is nothing that can match up to it.

I know that if I drop dead tomorrow, I have no regrets! God has been kind enough to give me a loving family, some great friends, some not, loads of learning and experiences that make me realize how far ahead of a lot of people i am.. evolved in my thinking that I am actually! Truly blessed! For all of those who feel like I have no clue or I have a long way to go... Yes I have a long way to go, but for most of those who think this about me, I am sure they haven't covered my distance yet! :) Only my family will get what I'm saying right now! :)

ANyhow... point of this post... Everyone makes choices and decisions in life... And I've made some recent ones. Time to move on, change course, new directions is around the corner... and I wait for them with a smile and arms wide open! :)

Here's to brighter days and back to the goodness of life in all its simplicity! :)

MUSIC: Brings alive my soul!

I know this fact, have always known it... yet lately it hadn't been playing the same important role it had in my life earlier... MUSIC, makes my soul and me feel alive...

I was one who constantly had music playing. Had an iPod running all the time. Earphones or speakers or on my laptop. Life was just happier then. When a friend of mine who really knows me, first realised that there was no music as soon as I woke up in the morning, she straight away picked up on the fact that there were some things bothering me in life... This is what true friends are. They know you in and out without having to say a word ... !

ANyway, not to digress from the point. Music makes me feel alive. There is nothing that can work better on changing my mood or making me feel better the way that music does it for me. It exports me to a world of my own in a matter of seconds. Thank the lord for that. As we grow old, the realities of life have a way of bringing us down. And we need to have that something that brings us out and helps us deal with them and let us be the happy souls we are meant to be. And spread the joy... :)

I remember one time at a friends house, I had gone for dinner and wasn't really feeling very well. They were all watching a footy match and I was lying on a bean bag DEAD as hell. The minute the match finished, someone put on some music and five minutes into that, I was up and dancing! When the evening came to an end, rather when the music stopped at around dinner time, it took a matter of seconds for my body to go back to feeling like hell! I was back to being ill, with my fever and aches and pains back with a bang! LOL

In short, thank god for my music, my ipod because I really don't know how I'd manage a few situations in life and where I'd get my rest and strength from otherwise... For all those who know me, thank you and I love you for knowing me... :) and worry not, MUSIC IS BACK TO STAY... with a bang! :)

Out of sight, out of mind? If only it were THAT easy!

Out of sight is supposed to be out of mind... isn't it? You'd think... I'd like to say... YA RIGHT!


Gazing at the ceiling of a pitch black room,
Thinking of you kind of takes away the gloom,
But not knowing or feeling what we did before,
Makes me yearn for it more and more.

Not saying I want things to move at a fast pace,
But I hope for you, I have not been replaced,
Not that I doubt you for a second,
But a few kind words and some comfort wouldn't hurt, you reckon?
I miss the times we snuck in a kiss,
With the thrill of being caught, which I kind of miss.
Keeping an eye on each other and doing small things,
That mattered so much, that my heart, with joy, rings!
That one touch of your arm, or a gentle hug,
Is all that I need, to not be smug,
With everything around, its hard you see,
To be normal and not be able to react as me!
Think of me and be kind,
Know that you are the only one who is always on my mind,
I don't know what you have going on,
But believe me I'm waiting for this storm to pass and move on...
I have a dream and a will to push,
My own life and all that comes along, the rush,
Nothing can break my faith and strength at all,
Just a little show of support though, can make me go through a wall! :)
You have your own battles to fight,
I'm going to be standing there, in your line of sight,
No matter what, no matter where,
Whenever you think of me, need me, I'll always be there.

Gazing at the ceiling of a pitch black room,
Thinking of you kind of takes away the gloom,
But not knowing or feeling what we did before,
Makes me yearn for it more and more.

Lyrics ... that were kinda a reminder slap in the face for me! :)

We all go about holding onto things in our lives... We are ALL hoarders in some form or the other. We hold on to material belongings, emotional attachments and anything and everything we can find. Yes, it IS natural for this to happen, we are human! But we need to understand that knowing the reality and accepting it, helps us understand and accept our lives better. No matter what the situation, as many curveballs that come our way, or lemons get thrown our way... Understand one statement, 'THIS TOO SHALL PASS'! Whether good or bad, everything dies.

Here are the lyrics to this song which I think is fabulous by the way... enjoy and find the link to the song below too!

Na bandho zor se mutthi main, zindagi raet hai, phisal jayegi...
Kabr ke aur nahi to bata eh zindagi, kidhar jayei?
Jaise oase ke boondh hai kapti hui ghaas ke noke pe...
yeh zindagi bas ek hawa ke jhooke se bikhar hi jayegi...
Harne ko kuch nahi aur jeete ko padi hai yeh duniya,
Is se behtar ab koi aur baazi, phir na aayegi...
Yeh zindagu dariya ki mauj tinke se hasti apni,
Jaana chahe na chahe yeh le hi jaye, jidhar jayegi...
Na bandho zor se mutthi main, zindagi raet hai, phisal jayegi...
Kabr ke aur nahi to bata eh zindagi, kidhar jayei?

Song: http://soundcloud.com/pankajawasthi/ret-hai-zindagi?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=facebook&utm_content=http%3A%2F%2Fsoundcloud.com%2Fpankajawasthi%2Fret-hai-zindagi

I lost my heart ... to you...

I lost my heart... to you...
Darling you know its true...

I have never in my life felt this blue...
All because I am far away from you...
So close yet so far...
A feeling I'd never wish for upon a star...
For you, me or anyone in this world...
Because an aching heart is the worst by far...
You know the truth in your heart...
And I can see it in your eyes...
We try to be fine whenever we are apart...
But as soon as we meet, we can see through the lies...
I think of you and smile...
But it has been a while...
Since you've held me in your arms so tight...
That my heart could jump a mile...

You Have to know I Love You, after all this time...
I'm just afraid because the truth is, my Heart is no longer mine...

Pictures say a thousand words

They say, pictures say a thousand words... Here are a few from me to you... :)

Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost...! :)

I've been putting up a brave face for a few things going on in my life currently! Not complaining at all, as god has been gracious enough to give me such a great life and I feel so very blessed. I look around and have a fabulous family, some gems as friends, a great job, loving caring guardian angels and so much more. Just that sometimes, when we're low on energies and our reserves, nothing can help us and stop us from breaking down. Yesterday was one such day for me.

I was sitting and questioning a lot of things, which I know I should not. I know everything will happen correctly and for the best, but my weaker side took over for a while. Questioning how and why I was the way I was. Why things affected me so much? Why I was surrounded by the world and yet had never felt so alone in my life? Why life had funny ways or turning things around? Why others cannot be as expressive or even a little expressive as I am? Why do we find it hard to be alone and be indifferent when we are born alone and we die alone? Why does what people do affect me so much even though I know I'm right? These are just a few of the zillion questions that came to my mind.

I cried myself to sleep as early at 730 post which I was woken up by a friend and my cousin. Cried a bit more, vented partially what was going on in my head. I don't even have the open hand to vent everything I want to. I only get to do that in the one hour I sit at the gurdwara! That too I don't vent really, just am grateful and thankful! Crying I guess is my form of release... Its hard, it aches, it kills most of the time yet its gotta be done.

At the question of why I let what others do affect me so much, why looking at others suffer or something makes me so sad, my cousins responded with a simple line... 'Maybe its a good thing. At least we know you're human!'

On a normal occasion I would have agreed, but lately, I've been doing this whole I'm strong act and telling myself I'm fine (which at most levels I am) that this time it didn't help. Where is my person who can be my shoulder? Where is someone for me who will be my strength? Where is that one person who will make me see the sun shine the next morning no matter how dark a night it has been... Anyway...

I have to admit, its great being surrounded by people who love you. God really has been kind. I have a few angels looking over me at all times, which helps me pull myself out of my low, weak moments.

I asked another cousin of mine why I was supposed to go through all of this hurt, and pain, and ache and still be the strong one and just keep going on faith of it being a brighter day tomorrow.... His response was so beautiful, I was smiling with tears rolling down my eyes! I love his view on the world and life! He really is god's blessed child. He said, "Imagine how a diamond is formed... things under the earth decay, then form carbon, then it turns into coal. Over the years with all the pressure and perseverance it becomes a Diamond. Imagine for a moment, what it might feel like in its initial years. Thinking why it must have to go through this shit... However, had it not gone through all of that, it would have only been normal coal."

What more does one say to that? NOTHING! Just nothing...

There is one more line that comes to my mind which I hear a friend say to me every now and again which I will close with. This is not just for me and to remind myself of this truth, but also certain few people who are very near and dear to me. Hope this makes sense and gives you the strength to do the right things for your own self. No matter how hard it may seem, and how weak you may think you are. Surround yourself with people who are truly your friends and know you well, you don't have to do anything alone.

"Hamari filmon ki tarah, hamari life mein bhi end mein sab theek ho jaata hai, aur agar nahin hua hai, to picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!"

Where you really belong...

How I like the rain,
Its where I can hide my pain,
Under the streams of raindrops,
How easily they cover my teardrops...

No one will ever know,
Cause I won't let it show,
How you affect me so,
And day by day these feelings grow...

I love you ever so much,
And darling its time for me to let you go,
For there is a path he needs to show,
Which you need to walk on and grow...

We who burn in love,
Will never be at peace,
But look to me for strength,
And put your heart at ease...

I can't stop this feeling,
Deep inside of me,
No one will know or realise,
What you do to me...

I've done the right thing to do,
Now its your turn to do the same, and not be blue...
Make the right choices and we'll all be there for you,
God forbid you slip and fall, which in the past you've been known to do.

Its a test of strength,
A question of right and wrong,
I love you with all my heart,
And you know that is where you really belong!

Situations and directions...

Mera dil jiske liye jag utha hai,
Kya woh mere khuda ka bheja hua hai?
Lagta to aysa hi woh, Bilkul mere jaisa,
Meri rooh main bas chuka hai...

Zameen aasmaan ka phark hote hue bhi,
Ek hone ka ehsaas hua hai,
Duniyan ki mushkilain samne aate hue bhi,
Aakhri manzil pe bharosa dilojaan se hua hai...

Kaiynaat saari cheezain mere saamne la rahi hai,
Mujhe har pal sahi rasta dikha rahi hai,
Jo lamhe ghabrahat main kho bhi jaate hai,
Woh bharpoor pyaar, himmat aur aitbaar se wapas dila rahi hai...

Mere bharose aur mere khuda ka yeh hai imtehaan,
Aage kya hoga, yeh rasta hai anjaan,
Magar aaj aur kal jeena hai befikar,
Kyuki humara rasta humare liye hoga mahaan...

Mujhe apne aap se nahi hai koi shiqwa,
Lekin tujhse hai ek gum,
Doosro ke baare main sochte sochte,
Kho diya hai tune apna makaam...

Har manzil chadni nahi hai zaroori,
Na hai paana har makaam,
Poocho unse joh tumhe chahte hai,
Kitna mushkil hai dekhna tumhe dukhi aur pareshaan...

Chup chaap apne aap main sama gaye ho,
Apna dard aur chot apne aap main mila rahe ho,
Apne dil aur chahne walo se baat tak nahi kari,
Yeh batao mujhe, yeh kar ke tum kya jatana chah rahe ho?

Sab na sahi, ek ya do log hai tumhare khaas,
Unse baat karo, taki unhe bhi hoye ehsaas,
Ki unka bhi koi hai jise chahiye sahara,
Woh bolta nahi hai kuch, taake lage na woh bechara...

Sach to yeh hai ki bolne se darta hai tu,
Kyu ki sachai aur sahi rasta hai samne,
Aur waha bikharta hai tu,
Janta hai ki sahi hai aur kya hai galat,
Par darta hai, nahi sudharta hai tu...

Aaj deti hun main ek mashora,
Apni dil ki sunno aur rab par karo bahrosa,
Galtiyan sab karke girte hai,
Jo utha hai, jaise uthta hai uske baad, woh hai sacha vijayata.

Apne aap ko na samajh himmatwaala,
Maddad mangne se ghabrata hai kyu?
Sahi raste kabhi nahi hote aasaan,
Darta hai, to upse akele kyu chalta hai tu?

Kabron pe mehel koi nahi banata,
Lekin kabron par bhi/mae bhi koi nahi hai rehta...
Yeh tere aur mere bare main nahi hai,
Yeh tera imtehaan hai, jo tu chahta nahi hai dena...

Khuda se hai mere dil kil dua,
Ki tujhe woh himmat de,
Taki chale befikar tu, Ho nidar tu,
Sahi kaaj aaj kar tu,
Aur apne bal pe vijay nikal tu...

Feeling safe... Feeling at peace... My safe place...!

I have had 6 night of no sleep... I have been walking around, going to work and living life more or less like a zombie this week. I happened to have 15 mins of peace and calm in the middle somewhere I feel safe and secure...
I felt the need to be there again so bad, but knew that it wasn't really going to happen. However, the universe was kind and heard me out...

Today I didn't get very much time, but whatever little time I got in my safe place, was enough to rejuvenate me. For the first time in 7 days... actually the second time in so many days, I was in a place, where I felt happy, peaceful, calm, safe and just ME. You know there are times when you feel like you 'belong' somewhere... A place which you can call your own, a place where you are happy, at peace with yourself and everything under the sun... And more than anything, a place where you're safe. Where you know nothing can get to you, hurt you, harm you... I've found my place... Unfortunately... I can't always call it mine, and I can't be there when I want just yet... BUT, the way I feel when I am there... I know that it is MY place and MINE alone! It will be mine soon enough! Whether anyone knows it, feels it or not!

Anyhow... I think that life is short... and a recent incident made me realise that if I were to go tomorrow, I would have no regrets what at all... But maybe a wish for more time just to spend in my special place! :) Today, I was over taken by emotion, just by having alone time and being in the place I wanted to be in so bad. It made all the difference in what I had been going through these past few days...

Point of the blog... find a space where you belong, a place where you can be you... a place where the world could not seem like a safer place. Live in it as much as you can... Make it live in you more and more each day! Cherish it and be at peace...
<3

Constant Learning. Lesson xx - Learn to be alone

For people like me, who have been used to having a support system, whether with friends or family anywhere that we have gone... It is probably the hardest lesson to learn. But we MUST learn this lesson. Once you master this (which I am far from!) life will seem a lot easier. Things will be much easier to deal with and accept.

Everything in life passes. Whether its a good feeling or a bad one. Everything passes. Good and bad... We need to understand this to be able to live a little more peacefully!

Recently I've just gone through a bit of an accident which could have been catastrophic. Everyone in the car was safe but two of my closest friends have had whiplash and need to take care of themselves or will have a very hard time in the future with complications to their health. The others and I have gotten away with bruising and aches and pains which is normal after the kind of impact the car had at the time of the collision. I can't stop thinking about my friends who I wish have a speedy recovery!

But things like this make you really think a few things through. In so many instances around you!
You get to know who are the people in your life to stay, who is there to leave, who is there to talk and do nothing... etc etc...


~!~!~!~!~
So I started this blog ages ago... and now I have made peace with it... in short... Learn to be alone... Its the hardest thing you will have to learn if you are anything like me... But its a MUST to know... :)

*Missings, feelings, ramblings*

Being strong is something great... its a power we all possess in different amounts...
Just a few lines I want to pen down... thinking out loud of a feeling that goes by every now and then!

I wake up in the morning, to think of you,
The last dream I remember, was obviously with you,
Checking my phone a zillion times a day,
To try and see if you think of me and miss me the same way.

Its time for me to be strong,
I know I have the will to go on,
But all I wish for from time to time,
Is the feeling to know that one day you will be mine.

Not a day goes by without thinking of you,
Not a thing passes me, without reminding me of you,
I don't know if I have ever felt this way before,
But its a feeling that right now, I'm not sure I adore...

I always smile at the thought of your face,
That naughty smile, those glittering eyes and your warm embrace,
The chirpy hugs, kisses and attention I'd get before,
Now those are feelings I do and always will adore!

I miss you asking about me,
Expressing how you feel, without being weird,
Miss being told how much I'm missed,
Being held without being feared.

I keep myself busy and try to stay calm,
Without you though, that feeling sets off an alarm,
I am so amazed at myself for feeling this way,
Don't know if its a weak way of being, or a new, strong ray.

So today I ask for the courage to be,
A stronger, more patient and happier me,
To make my will go on longer and stronger,
Waiting for you and thinking of memories and times, to which I grow so much more fonder...

Gentle reminders. Thank you Steve Jobs!

Steve Jobs has recently resigned and that has lead to the world paying much more attention to him. Which is great I think, because the way that man thinks is brilliant! He is a great speaker and I truly feel that he needs to and has soo much more to share with the world!

He gave a speech (amongst so many that he has given) where he concentrated on just three things. Those three things are the most important if you look at it...

1) Connecting the dots - Have faith in the ways of the world and specially when you are following your heart. Whether it is with regards to education, work, love anything! Know and have faith in the fact that at some point in life, all the dots will connect. One can never see what is happening in the present and what for, but trust the fact that the dots WILL connect in the end. Call this ways of the world, the universe, karma, ways of God... Look at it anyway you can see the true meaning of it for you.

2) Love - The most important thing in one person's life. There has to be love and passion for anything and everything. The work you do, the people you interact with, the lovers in life, family ties, IT ALL! Where would you be without love? Have faith in yourself, your heart and your intuition... They somehow already seem to know what you want before you do... :)

3) Death - Believe it or not, look at life and you'll see that we are born to eventually die. Death is inevitable. So the earlier we realise this, the more we learn how to truly live life. Wake up and ask yourself one question, 'If this was my last day, would I be doing everything the same way?' or ... 'If I were to live tomorrow, what would I do that I have not done so far' Start living, make the most of the journey, cause the final destination is death! :)

Live life, be happy, be sad (but not for long), spread joy, harmony, be humble, be daring, be aspirational, be passionate, be human, be superhuman, be forgiving, be soo many things... at the end of the day, be happy!

Dukhte hue dil aur inn chand panktiyon ka koi naam nahi hai...

Yeh dil rota hai tere liye,
Bahe yeh aason, tere liye...
Tu mera hokar bhi mera na ho saka,
Yeh dil kitna roya hai aaj, tere aur mere liye...

Na jaane meri kismat mujhe kya sikhana chahti hai,
Mere dil pe roz ek naya khel kilati hai,
Jeetna ya harna nahi batati,
Lekin dil dukha ke, ro ke, rola ke, jaane kya jataati hai...

Roke na ruke yeh aason,
Behlaye na behle yeh dil.
Itna dard de kar samjhana,
Kyu nahi lagta kisi aur ko mushkil?

Mere aason sirf mere hai...
Mera dukh sirf mera hai...
Baatne waala koi ho kar bhi...
Sab kuch mujhe sehna akele hai...

Meri zindagi ke kal main kya basa hai kya koi jaane,
Lekin mere aaj ke liye koi na hai sahara,
Rab se dua hai meri dilon jaan se,
Kisis aur ko mere jaisa na banana...

Sab sahne ki sakti hai,
Lekin apne aap pe na hai kuch laagu,
Kab koi samajh sakega mujhko,
Kab main is bure sapne se jaagu?

:( :'(

Tumhare intezaar main sanam,
Kahi yeh dil pathhar na ho jaye,
Main to yeh bilkul nahi chahti,
Lekin dar hai kahi yeh muqaddar na ho jaye.

Aaj hui hai yeh aankh nam,
Jaane Kya rahega kal yeh gum?
Itna kyu sochti hun main?
Kyu nahi aapne aapko rokti hun main?

Aaj pehli baar, mera dukhta dil kuch bola hai,
Jaane kyu aaj isne apna muh khola hai,
Aage jaake koi samjhe ya na samjhe,
Bina yeh soche aaj yeh dil roya aur bola hai...

... Aur likha nahi jaraha...
Ek hi sawaal dimaag main hai aa raha...
Dil tu akhir kyu rota hai?
Duniyan main to aisa hi hota hai... henna?

Dil aakhir tu kyu rota hai? Duniya main yehi hota hai...

Obviously, things dont always go the way we want...
There are times we have to put a heavy strong on our heart and make some tough choices... I probably going to have to do that soon enough...

Usi ke baare main sochte hua, yeh mujhe yaad aaya... quite apt I thought, so sharing the same... my fav line being, 'Dil tu aakhir kyu rota hai? Duniya main aisa hi hota hai...' :(

Jab jab dard ka baadal chaya
Jab ghum ka saya lehraya
Jab aansoo palkon tak aya
Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya
Humne dil ko yeh samjhaya
...Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai ?
Duniya mein yunhi hota hai...

Yeh jo gehre sannaate hain
Waqt me sabko hi baante hain
Thoda ghum hai sabka qissa
Thodi dhoop hai sabka hissa
Aankh teri bekaar hi namm hai
Har pal ek naya mausam hai
Kyun tu aise pal khota hai ?
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai...

Life and some teachings...

Life teaches you so many things... As we grow older, we interact with different people and have different experiences. Some good, some bad, some ugly, some Amazing and so on and so forth. But at the end of the day, we go through all of these things to learn. Constant learning is happening in our lives. The moment you think that you know it all, or 'at your age' you've seen it all and a lot, life will remind you of HOW wrong you are. Some people chose to notice those reminders and the others just ignore them. Its a personal journey we all have to make.

Life teaches you lessons that you don't really want to learn... But ever thought for a second that maybe you 'need' to learn these lessons. You have a path made out for you chose to walk on it wisely or not... Yes we have to make mistakes, this is how we learn. Yes life isn't a cake walk, who the hell led you to that misconception...??
But one has gotta live it...

People think they know you, and you know them, but really, no one knows yourself better than you. So you need to make your decisions and choices, whether those get changed at a later stage or not. You need to do what you think right at that moment. LIVE at your own risk. Do not care about what people say or think. I have in the past few years been thrown off my own path because 'people talk'! How ridiculous was it that I let it affect me! And I realised, that no matter what kind of person you truly are, people will paint their own picture of you. Even the people who 'supposedly' know you will paint their own picture the second they hear something that doesn't sound familiar to them.

Anyway, life is a learning, through and through. It teaches you many a things... and I for one have learnt so much in the recent past. The biggest learning I must say, is that we are probably better off alone... Coming from a person like me, this is really hard to believe... I'm not sure that I truly stand by this... Probably not... But I'm kind of feeling alone right now... Which is where this comes from.

To all my friends who have their bubbles... Keep em... Once they burst and life gets a jaded tint, its really hard to be strong. One has to be really strong to be positive through all the shit that might come your way. I feel like I'm one of the few who is fairly strong and will smile through the shit... Just sometimes when the lows are hard... I chose to disappear... Or be silent... I do believe that silence is the biggest cry for help from a woman... Just that people don't know this fact...

On that note... ... ... ... ... ...

Some memories ALWAYS put a smile on your face!

We have all heard 'MY favourite things' from the movie 'The Sound of Music' at some point or the other. That really does help you see how thinking of some things, your favourite things can always chirpen you up and brighten your day! :)

Similarly, there are ALWAYS certain memories that bring a smile to your face. This is not restricted! [OK, I have to admit it works...! I was just in a rotten mood for a certain reason, and instead of concentrating on the reason I just thought of happier moments. It surely worked!:)]

Anyhow, back to the point. Some places you went at some time with someone... Conversations, looks exchanged, a nice warm hug, a drive holding some one's hand, a kiss that was snuck in at some point, something as silly as a chocolate that was bought for you by someone unexpected and the look on a friends face when he/she is truly happy.

*sigh* How I wish everyone had the power to reach in to happy memories and make themselves happier people! :)

Here is to happy memories... and some of you reading... know exactly what I mean... No matter what, no matter how one behaves, no matter who pushes one away, no matter how bad a day gets, no matter how big a fight is, no matter what the misunderstanding... Happy thoughts, happy memories, happy smiles, lots of love and faith... ALWAYS!

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside...

The title of this post is from a song... But I don't really mean it in the same sense.

You know I have gone through a funny phase this past year... Felt like I had lost my grounding a bit and have taken a full circle trying to make my way back.

Finally, in the recent past, I had decided that it was time to get back into action in a lot of ways in my life and I did. I know that when I get down to something, plan in my head and decide what I need to do, I just go ahead and do it. And when I want something with a clear and earnest heart, I get it too.

Things have started moving in the direction they should, and everything is going well... I'm happy yet I feel like there is a void in me. I'm happy yes, but sometimes I feel like I'm happy only on the outside... I've never ever in my life felt this before... I am one who emotes and feels every emotion to the fullest...

I knew that in a months time I needed to get a job, which paid me a certain amount, post which I need to start looking for an apartment and things would start sitting in place...

I got a job, which paid me what I asked for (contrary to what most people thought about what I'd get) I know that taking an apartment and everything else that needs to happen will also happen. I'm happy because as always, when I really put my mind to what I want, I get it... But this time round... for some reason, my heart is not truly happy... I feel a void. Normally I would have probably reacted questioning this feeling and pulling myself down about it. But this time, I'm observing the feelings inside of me for a change. I'm not reacting to them, just observing them. It is a different feeling, I can't really seem to explain it.

I'm happy, grateful, hopeful and looking forward to a lot. But still feel like there is something missing... Is it a part of me? Is it something else? I have no idea... All I know is that the day may be bright, but I'm not my brightest. The flower may be beautiful, yet I don't pay attention to it the way I normally would. I can smell the coffee, but it doesn't taste as strong. I feel a little numb inside... and I just don't know why... I might have a slight idea as to what it might be... But I wont know for sure till what I'm thinking of in my head, happens.

So... Here I am... living each day as it comes. I guess this is yet another something new for me to go through :)

It's a little bit funny... This feeling inside!

...alone...

At the end of the day...
We're another day older...

Another day older,
Is not as bad as before...

The only thing that pinches somewhere...
Is that I am still all alone...

Plans are what we make for ourselves...
And life is what happens while we do that...

But somewhere I'd wished,
For someone like me,
To be able to hold my hand and see,
Where I'd like to see myself,
With that someone like me...

All alone in what I'm going through,
No one will know, not even you...
There is no way to make this any better,
Than to look at now and HOPE for better...

Hope and faith keeps us alive...
Alone or not, giving us the will to survive...

The show must go on...

Sometimes ever thing you do, is never enough. No matter how hard you try to do things in a certain manner, so that you and everyone around you can be happy... It just doesn't seem to happen.

Whether you do things right or wrong, you end up going through the same situations. Its a real morale killer I must say! But when you look back, you can see that everything is a choice you make.

You can choose to be sad about all the things that are going on in your life, or you chose to have a happier outlook in life. I for one can say with all my heart, that life has been throwing a lot, A LOT of curve balls my way. All I can keep doing in hitting them outta the ball park! :) I don't want to get striked out and do not want to make small runs. I want to hit all the balls out of the park, and that's exactly what I do with my attitude. I know what I want, I know what I am doing in not wrong and as long as my conscience is clear there is nothing that can get in my way.

Situations at home are always tough, but at the end of the day one has to realise that family is family. For me, clearly, I have always believed that your family should be your priority. Tomorrow god forbid something goes wrong in life, the only people really and truly standing next to you will be your family.

No matter what the issues... with family and otherwise... Make smart choices. Choose the people you keep around, other than family obviously, very carefully. Do not give them the right to cross certain lines. And be happy with life and choices you have made. I must emphasize on the fact that a LOT of thought needs to be given on the people around you, but once you do, make sure you are okay/happy with it.

With family, you can't really choose who you have around, however you can decide to ignore certain things and move on from the issues cause and created.

Either way, the show must go on... The show we call 'life'. Like a friend and I always say, 'This too shall pass' and that saying, 'Life is what happens when you have other plans' :)

*aching heart*

One of the hardest things to deal with is an aching heart. Over and above that, if one doesn't have the support that is needed, its like a total killer...

Its like going to war... Just alone...

You're aching for certain things in your life... And no matter how hard it may be, you know you'll come out a winner at the end. But you have to go through the aches and pains and sometimes that just feels so so hard. Over and above that, the few people who know what you are going through, probably have enough going on for themselves, so knowingly or un-knowingly do and say things without thinking.

Anyway, there is no real point for this blog... I have a gazillion thoughts in my mind and they are driving me crazy... Some people around me not talking to me is just not helping the cause... Anyway... 'This too shall pass' has been my punchline lately and worked really well till tonight... I guess its just taking a little longer to set in...

Aching... and aching alone... :( its the worst feeling in the world and I don't wish it upon anyone else ever.

Doing the right thing... hurts like hell...!!! But makes you smile in the long run :)

You know you're thinking in the right direction and doing the right thing if you are finding it very hard to come to terms with or deal with. Not because you are doing it for the wrong reasons... But for the fact that you are doing it for the right reasons, and probably putting a rock on your heart and doing it for the good of everyone involved... :)

If you love something or someone with all your might, you have to let it go. If it is meant for you, it will make its way back to you through thick and thin and there is NOTHING that can stop it. However, you have to make life for yourself and others around you simple, happy and full of love and compassion and care... Take steps towards it! :) Help people understand their true wants and desires!

I'm going to sign off with just a few quotes a friend has been making or finding which have been hitting a cord! :)

"We all sometimes believe that falling in love is the greatest feeling anyone could wish for, but I realize that there is no better feeling than finding the right one at the right time..."

"When I decide not to think of you, is exactly when everything reminds me of you!"

"One of the worst feelings in life is holding onto something you know you need to let go of."

*sigh* ... happy thoughts and smiles

So, here's the thing. I don't know what it is about the weather and the surroundings lately, nothing seems to keep me low! :) If there are negative thoughts or sad thoughts, I always seem to see the light of day. Whether it is the presence of new thoughts in my mind, or just a better place I see myself in, now and in the future. Whatever it is, is helping me stay happy and remain positive! :)

Songs make sense, I'm being more patient and just knowing that I'm not giving up on what I want somehow makes me be able to manage life better. Sure this is a new feeling, amongst other things I have been feeling, and I am bound to make some mistakes, but I'm sure that everything is on track and will sort itself out in time! :)

My faith is stronger than that and the fact that I'm sure and clear on certain things that I want, it makes me that much more comfortable and happy.

So ya, happy thoughts, happy smiles and happy vibes! :) loving the space! :)

Midnight scribbles... :)

One of those days when there is just so much going on in my mind! :)

But the best part about it is, that me being in a happy and peaceful place with myself just helps me to look at things so much better. I really do feel blessed at times to have the thought process that I have. I have friends who make fun of me and tell me to act my age and not be ahead of my times, but I don't let that bother me. I can surly behave the same way other people at my age would normally behave, but I have been blessed enough to have been given evolved thoughts, to see a larger picture, a better picture. I chose to take the more evolved thoughts/actions instead of doing what other people do at my age. I learn from other people's mistakes and learn from their learnings too! (As much as I can! I must admit it is hard!) There are times when I pick up the negative qualities of those around me too. However, once I identify them, I am aware of them, I do what I have to do to bring myself back on course.

As for those who tell me to act my age and doubt my thought process, well, they all know that I am right, and that is what probably scares them and probes them to tell me what they do.

I have lived my life, made the most of it all, had fun, done what I wanted to do, MY way and at an early age have been fortunate to have had enough and more experiences to make me who I am today. I can chose to act like a frivolous bimbo, or be the way I am. I chose to be the way I am. I live by a few things. I make sure my conscience is clear every night I sleep. At the end of the day you have to answer to yourself and the lord above. Also, I never have regrets in my life. I recently saw something which I agree with. Never have regrets, because at some point or the other you wanted to do what you might be regretting at that moment. Never look back and regret any experience you might have had. Cherish it and learn from it, to make you a better and stronger person.

I am also asked and questioned about my feelings and how sure of them I might be. How do you explain to someone how you feel? And once you do, how do you make sure they understand how true your feelings really are? How do you make them see the purity of intent, and earnest emotions? How do you make them feel what you feel? There is no real answer for these questions you see. There is a saying which goes something like, you can only take the horse to the pond, but cannot make it drink the water. Others have their perceptions... I don't expect anyone to know, understand, believe or anything of what I'm feeling. All I can do is be true to myself and the others. The rest is up to them. :)

At the end of the day, it boils down to what I have been saying for a while now. There is always two ways of looking at a situation. Sometimes more than two ways.
You can chose to be cynical, pessimistic, doubtful etc etc... OR do it my way. Be hopeful, be happy, dream big, feel and acknowledge every emotion that passes through you and give it its proper due. :)

Be the better person, do the right thing, go after true and earnest emotions and don't question things that come your way. You will get answers in time. You never know what you're pushing away or bringing closer when you're living through times that do not make sense to you. :) Just be happy! Keep the faith and NEVER loose hope! And trust in the lord above to always guide you and keep you on the right path! :)

Okay, that's enough for one night! Shall leave you with a quote I came across.
"Your story may not have a happy beginning, but the rest of your story is who you chose to be!"
Guess where that quote came from! ;)

Reality Bites? Chose the way you look at it!

Yes... we all have dreams and hopes and wants and wishes. But sometimes is life is hard and has a funny way of throwing strange things our way. We think we want certain things until reality hits one day and we realise that maybe we've been off course. To try and bring things back on the right course, we have to go through hell to set things straight. Truth of the matter is, the right way is always the harder way. The wrong way is the easier way. The way one can just escape to make things momentarily better. But to look in the long run, and know that we're not doing anything wrong and not messing with the bigger picture, we need to set things right NOW. And sure as hell, setting things right IS reality and man does it bite most times. The strength one gets from their hopes and dreams can get sapped in a second from when we are going through the hell of dealing with and sorting out our current reality. But have faith in yourself, your hopes, dreams, desires and the fact that the lord above is watching. When you know you are doing the right things, nothing else matter.

Reality bites, sure as hell, you got that right! But its how we look at it and approach the situation at hand post that. Do we fight it with a smile since we know that we are on the right path? Do we fight it and get irritated and give in half way? Or do we get cynical about life in general just because we can't fathom why we have to go through this? Or we end up behaving like the people involved around us?

There are a gazillion ways to look at this! At the end of the day, the choice is ours and ours alone. I have been fortunate enough to go through some situations in my current past which have taught me a HELL OF A LOT! I've had my weak moments, believe me, at other people's expense that too! But luckily, in a short span of time, I've been smart enough to know that I need to see the larger picture. Everything one goes through is for a reason, and we need to take things head on. I can chose to be a rotten tomato about it and make my life a living emotional hell and the people involved in my life closely currently. Or, I chose to know that my wants, desires, feelings are true and pure. There is nothing that should make me question true and earnest feelings! Know and have faith that things will work out for the better and to what I want in the long run. And go on living happily and being there for the important ones in my life. Yes there will be hard and testing times... Do I chose to be cynical about it and life there after? I can, however I chose my approach.

You sure you've picked the right one? Make sure you don't give yourself too much grief. Specially when you know you're on the right path.

I was recently told, "Life and love are funny. They can take you so high and drop you on your ass as well. But hey, Loving is Living and you gotta Live!"

Enjoy every minute of it... Good, bad and ugly. I know its easier said than done... But give it a shot why dontchya! :)

Instant uplifts...

Painting, listening to music, writing, baking, driving and talking to some people who get you at a different level are a few things that are instant uplifts for me!

Painting, it has been something in my life that has instantly transported me to another world altogether. I can get so lost in the painting that I have no idea of the time, the place anything. It just keeps me really really happy. Away from the world and in my happy places!

Listening to music is another! Makes me disconnect from the world and be in the world of the songs. There are different ways of being lost in music. Each song has a different chord that it touches. And lately, all the songs make sense too... LOL, you know what they say when that happens right?

Writing is an instant release for me. The second I get writing I feel a whole lot better. It helps me put my thoughts down and makes me see things in a different light from time to time.

Baking is like therapy. Making sure you have the right ingredients, mixing and making the batter in a methodical manner, making sure you've baked long enough yet, not too long for it to burn. And the end result... sigh! Enjoying something heavenly, and even better, watching others enjoy something you've made with your own hands! :)

Driving... Driving aimlessly is just one of those things to do which give you the time and space to be with yourself and your thoughts. It has a calming affect on me. I know that driving around can calm my mind and let me bring my temper down. (which I do most of the time)

Last but not the least, talking to some people who know you and love you for who you are. No judgement, no external thoughts, no nothing! They see you as you are and how their faith in you can make you feel like the world isn't such a bad place after all! Actually reminds you of how good the world really is. Enjoy the simple things! Remind you to make the most of what you have and appreciate it all!

Anyhow, just a few things that have been on my mind so putting them down. Also, playing in my head is the sound of music song, 'My favourite things' :) I had a post which I had written to the same song, so this time, just writing my thoughts and not another version of the song! ;)

Something good from Something complex

There are times in our lives where we are stuck in a situation which always manages to make us question the good things around us. The purity of intent, the truth in our emotions, our earnest efforts to make something worth while. We may believe at some level, but if we are not strong enough in our minds and hearts, we can be a little lose in our stand at some points.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately on similar lines. I got an email recently which shook me a little the first time I read it. Also because I was in the frame of not being able to see what is good and true as compared to what isn't! Having read that when I was calmer, I realised it didn't have the same affect. I am stronger than that! :) I have looked around in my life, and now I've made a choice, to be happy, to accept and not question the purity of intent (in my actions, words and thoughts) and will stand by and make earnest efforts to know that I'm doing everything I can to make something worth while.

This is what I want... I don't expect others to want the same thing, right? :) I will do my bit and be there through good and bad. Let us see how it turns out. I for one am sure that the truth in emotions, and the honesty in our hearts will always win over anything else. My hope and faith is what I have lived by all my life, and when I look back, there were times when I was so sure of somethings in life where the world was standing up against me... I always got what I wanted. My feelings and wants were true and right. That always wins the way I look back at it!

So, point being, I've at some level begun a new phase in life and have realised that there is no need for me to question it negatively, no need for me to worry about it. I need to be looking at it with all smiles and happiness and that is exactly what I am going to do.

I'm in the mood to leave a random line from a song I love and which has a whole new meaning for me now... :) SO that is how I'll end this one...

"... Waiting on the lines of greens and blues... Just to be the next..."

Our paths and everything on the way

If we knew how our life was going to pan out, then there really would not be any point in living through right? Its the unexpected things that come our way that teach us so many things about how to live, react, behave etc etc.

We can wish for certain things, we want our lives to be a certain way, we are hopeful of our dreams and try to work towards what we want. But what happens when things don't go as planned? Do you freak out and run away or handle things in the most hap hazard manner ever, or calm yourself, think it through and try and find the best possible solution for the event/events? Try and see how you can make it a positive learning or event instead of a negative one. The choice is up to us. It truly is based on what we really want at some level in our hearts.

You know that quote, "life is what happens when we're busy planning it" or something to that extent. You know what, its true. We can plan all we want, but we have something written for us, and that will happen. We have to be gracious enough and open enough to accept everything that comes our way. Our paths in life are defined to a large extent, and even the people around us are there for many a reason. The people who do not question why, and go about doing and accepting things/life in a certain manner, are far ahead of those who question 'why'. That is an answer we never have.

Anyhow, the point being, one must be be open to what life has to offer. Good, bad or anything. Learn from everything and everyone around you. Take in people's good, leave out the bad. Try to be true to yourself and your feelings! :)

Faith

Okay, I have to admit... There are some times when you feel like the world is colliding... But... for those who have faith, the world seems likes a better place... and I, today, can say, that my faith is greater than all!

No matter what... I know what I want, I see what I want, and my faith is so strong that I know that I will get what I want. I keep putting myself up for a test every now and again, everyone does that at some point or another. But I am sure of the fact today, that my faith is greater than all. I know that what I want, and I will get, no matter what the world thinks of it. Good, pure and true feelings and thoughts always come through. And if you want something, from the bottom of your heart with all pure intentions, you will get it.

I will be patient, and be calm and not let anything bother me... because today showed me the light. I am stronger than what I think I am, MY wants and desires are pure in intent and will come my way ... one way or another.

My faith is doubled and I am sure, that my thinking will bring me nothing but the best and what I truly want.

Thank you lord for showing me the way. :) You give me the strength and the serenity. I cannot ask for more. Just be there to guide me, through the good times and the rough ones! :)

With all my heart, soul and might!

Feel like you're going crazy? Try the serenity prayer!

Ever felt like something is driving you mad? I recently had the fortune or misfortune of feeling like I was going mad. I felt like my world had been so shook up and I couldn't figure out head or tail. I was really thinking that everything around me was driving me mad and making me think of things I never would have thought of. Being alone was scary because being alone meant 50,000 thoughts in my head which I didn't want!!!

MAn, its the first and the last time I want to be in THAT space! Dear Lord, give me the wisdom to know how to steer clear of these spaces! Phew!

You know, when you want something bad enough, you're willing to go through anything for it. I guess that is when you end up walking into these spaces in your life which you never knew existed. Something similar happened to me lately. I'm glad it didn't take me that long to snap out of it. I know some people who are much less fortunate and get stuck in a downward spiral and do not have the strength to get out of anything. Even if they are offered help to do so.

Anyhow, back to my going mad feeling. Everything that you go through is some kind of learning. If you look at life like that, it makes it easier to handle, accept and move forward with. I've learnt that I cannot let things get to me. I need to draw clear lines for myself, my wants, my needs and the people who share certain spaces with me. As long as I know what I want, I shouldn't bother about what the world thinks or wants me to think/do about it. I need to know that I can do everything in my hands to make sure I get what I want. If I don't end up getting it, it wasn't mine to begin with. But I know that I never want to look back in life and wonder 'what if' for anything.

'What if I hadn't given up?', 'What if I'd given it more time?' these and many more questions I never want to have to answer to myself ever. Actually, I don't want to be asking myself those, leave alone answering them.

I have to take each day as it comes, live it the way I'd like it to be, and be happy and grateful for all around me. The food I eat, the people I'm with, where I live, the clothes I wear... Everything... Absolutly everything!

And in the times I feel weak, I look for strength within me and in my faith. Have a little prayer that makes me see things in a better way. I'll end my yet another random post with The Serenity Prayer.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the courage to change the things that I can. And the wisdom to know the difference."

a few quotes that struck a cord...

"Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine."
~Anonymous

"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”
~Anonymous

“Faith makes all things possible.... love makes all things easy.”
~Anonymous

“Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods”
~Anonymous

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”
~Anonymous

"Love to pray. Feel often during the day the need for prayer, and take trouble to pray. Prayer enlarges the heart until it is capable of containing God's gift of Himself. Ask and seek and your heart will grow big enough to receive Him"
~Mother Theresa

"There is a polish for everything. There is a polish that takes away rust; and the polish for the heart is the remembrance of God."
~Prophet Muhammad

"The fruit of silence is prayer.
The fruit of prayer is faith.
The fruit of faith is love.
The fruit of love is service.
The fruit of service is peace."
~Mother Teresa

“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
~Anonymous

“Where there is FAITH, there is LOVE; Where there is LOVE; there is PEACE; Where there is PEACE; there is GOD; Where there is GOD; there is BLISS.”
~Sri Sathya Sai Baba

“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.”
~David Viscott

“Prayer is the key to Heaven, but faith unlocks the door.”
~Anonymous

Smiling a whole different smile...

There are so many things in life to be grateful for! :) And I for one am really really happy that I have had a few things work for me in one way or the other. I am at peace with myself and most situations in life at the moment! :) And I look around and I am grateful... :)

Grateful for the life I've had...
Grateful for the people I've met along the way...
Grateful for the experiences I've had with so many different people...
Grateful for all my learnings....
Grateful for the love that surrounds me..
Grateful with being blessed with just who I am, as it allows me to spread the love and joy the way I'd like to...
Grateful for the family I have...
Grateful for the decisions I've taken...
Grateful for the risks I've taken...
Grateful for having the courage to stand up for what I feel right and let go of what I feel wrong...

This list is not even the tip of the iceberg (this one is a superficial one even if you look at the details I could go through at this point. Wishing for world peace at a beauty pageant just doesn't cut it! :p)
There is so much more I can go on about... Life, our understanding of it, the knowledge and openness of looking at things from a wider angle... so so much more...

But in short... Right here, right now... I am smiling... Because I love the way I feel... and am grateful for being able to feel it! :)

Need I say anything more?

... missings...

What is it that you feel when you miss someone?

At different times, and for different people there are different emotions... :) Happy missings, with all happy thoughts bringing smiles to your face! Sad missings, thinking of the people you've lost in life... All sorts of missings with everyone and all the memories you've shared with them!

Memories... What a great thing, most of the time. :) The thought of an incident, an evening, a line said, a smell of a perfume, a song that was once danced to... can bring back so many emotions... can change so much of your current world! :)

Most of the times, I feel happy when I miss someone... I know they are important enough in my life to miss! :) And most of the people who I'm close to, will always have a few things if not more that will ALWAYS remind me of them. A song mutually liked, a number danced to, a place enjoyed at, food cravings that were shared, chats that made our worlds change or realise similarities and differences... SO SO MUCH and MORE!

Its a great feeling to be able to feel. You know someone is that important to you... and to hear it back is even better... To know that you're important to someone else too... It really can change your world around... A tiny example to share... something that makes me melt. I have my aunt's two kids who I am very close to and love very dearly. I see them often even though we don't live in the same city. But seeing them everytime, getting those real loving hugs and kisses and hearing how I was missed and making sure they know how much they were missed too... Changes our worlds for us. Everything else doesn't matter... It doesn't exist. A night over with a good night hug and kiss and an 'I love you' and a good morning wish very alike. With hugs and kisses and cuddles... What more does one want in life! :) These are the small things that make us who we are... are the important things in any relation! :) Makes you realise the other person's worth! :) And makes you realise how much you miss them when they are away! :)

Distance always helps puts things in perspective... one way, or another! :)

I miss you!

Old scribbles! :)

I was going over a few websites and came across a site that was created by a few friends, to blog about thoughts of different people in different parts of the world. We had thought we'd chose a few topics and all blog about them. See the different thoughts on the same topic that would come up. The different styles of writing and all! :) We all wrote under an alias which was super cool I thought! :) And when I was reading the old posts, it brought back such a smile to my face...

Good times, when worries were less, emotions were carefree and life was just plain simple! :)
*Sigh*

Its okay to ache...

There are certain times in one's life... (a few times actually) when one has to put up a brave face... As long as you don't know what is happening, you're okay and its easier for one to handle it. But then there are certain things you do not wish to know about... You chose to ignore them to be able to be at peace mentally and emotionally... The problem happens when you end up hearing about it from all corners of the earth! Its a true test of strength and courage to see how you pass the test...


The gamut of emotions that one goes through is insane. But as long as your head is screwed on tight, you come back and stop at all positive thoughts. You may pass negative thoughts, you may feel pain, ache, anger or anything, but the important thing is that you come out in the positive with flying colours... You can chose to hear things you don't want to and concentrate on them, or just let them pass out the same way they came in...

So ya, in short... its okay to ache, just as long as you don't lose the faith...

Spring Cleaning...

Ever stood in front of your cupboard to see clothes overflowing... ??? Things you wear are okay, that's the normal stuff, things you don't wear, which are just occupying space and irritating you at every glance you take...!!! Till one fine day, when you turn around and say enough is enough... ! Time to spring clean...

You take everything out one by one, look at what you love and put it aside. You know that's not going anywhere... :) Whether its been bought recently or something that is 14 years old but still in mint condition (or not)! Then there are things which you kinda wear, they kinda fit you but since its convenient you keep em around. Or they just fit you like a glove and the thought of not having them around cannot even cross your mind... ! :)

Then you go through the others with the thought in your mind saying, "yea, I can keep em around, not that I use them very much, but just in case". It doesn't look too bad, and doesn't look too good either... Okay okay types... Backups, but they are still YOURS! Then you realise that there are somethings which you liked, but didn't realise how bad they made you look! You were blinded by your own self. Your loved ones had told you at some point or the other to reconsider keeping it, or not to buy it even, but you were just so sure of yourself that you had to have it. Oh well, we all make mistakes... Only when the times comes is when we need to look at it and say... "ya, you, BAD CHOICE!" and bung it in the dustbin.

This process for different people can take either half an hour in a day, or a whole day itself... Depends on the kind of person you are. Thinking about something a few times? Or just making a quick decision or just not wanting to think about it at all, and in turn you end up pushing away the task for a later time. Sometimes pushing it away for a lot later, which turns out to be a tougghie, because it is THAT much harder to sort things out.

This analogy might not be perfect... But recent events in my life have lead me to do that same exercise with some people in my life. I for one, don't think this is the right comparison, but its the first one that came to my life... Spring cleaning can be for your drawers, cupboards, house, car and more so even your own life. We need to take the time of day once in a while to look at ourselves, look at the life we're living, what is helping us in being better people, what is not helping us in being better human beings, who around us is a positive influence and who around us is draining the life out of us for no reason. Who makes you want to be happy, be better, bring out the best in one self and who is giving us grief directly or indirectly, or making us react in ways that are not natural to us, or even just bringing about negative energies.

We are all old enough to know what is best for us, and there are certain things we must go through to be able to learn in life. Our life is a constant learning, there will be things throughout our lives that will constantly teach us and our hunger to learn should never die out. The day you think you know it all, and you've seen it all... trust me, that's the day you're done for. Dooms day to you! :)

So... Just wanted to get this off my mind. Spring cleaning time it is... for me. :) Here's to a cleaner, more peaceful, happier, brighter, calmer and pure life aheaD! :)

... midnight banter...

Try me, test me...
Bring out the best in me...

See me, be me...
Just don't think you know me...

One must not try and push someone away to an extent that it makes it harder for the other person to be able to deal with a situation... be humble, try and do the best for everyone... If there are testing times, be as patient and as nice as you can to the ones around you, to be able to stand through the test that has presented itself. Being cynical towards it and pessimistic towards it only helps you not see those trying times through and end up doing something stupid... Being patient and nice in those times, seeing them through correctly, positively and happily, not only increases your karmic score card, but ensure nothing but the best coming your way... Be humble... that's another very important thing.

The problem is, in today's day and age, there are not many people strong enough to believe in life, hope and faith. Tainted by experiences and negative influences, they have to look at the world from that side, because god forbid they try looking at it from rose tinted glasses for too long! It scares the living day lights out of them. Everyone is quick to put the blame on others, but forget to look at themselves... One needs to address their own needs and wants and beliefs before they think about talking to or helping others with theirs...

I truly do feel blessed to have some sort of foresight... I do see things and life in a different light and like to keep it that way. There is nothing that can break and shake my faith... Its time some people start seeing that... I'm at a point in life, where different people will be seeing different parts of me... Welcome to my world... DARE you to try and shake or break it... :) My faith, hope, love, strength and patience will see me through it all... :)

Wind Beneath My Wings

This is a song by Bette Midler... The lyrics go something like this...

It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

This song was sung by a student in our school at the very first graduation ceremony. I still remember how most of the teachers, if not all were in tears. The fact was, that these teachers had seen all of us grow. From primary school till the time we passed out, we had the same set of teachers... We spent 8 hours a day with them and that was more than the time we spent awake in our homes with our own families.

If you look at it, at some point in our lives or the other, we can definitely dedicate this song to people who are important in our lives. Who help bring out the best in us. Our parents, a sibling, a friend, a loved one, a husband, a boyfriend, a wife, a girlfriend and the list can go on.

The important part is that we recognize these people in our lives and give them the due credit they deserve. They need to be told how important they are in our lives. How they have affected our thinking, how they have made us see the world and our lives differently, how they've pushed us to be better humans and be ourselves, and improve ourselves!

To all the people who matter to me... to the ones I love with all my might, at some point or the other you can come into my life at the right time to teach me something or the other... Some have stayed, some are around... Some have been taken away and some have become distant... Just know that I do love and cherish you all and thank you for being a part of my life... My Journey.

This post is more so important for the recent developments in my life... That have made me think differently about life. Think out of the box. Made me realize and want certain things in life... And made me realize that if some things feel right, they are worth the wait... and everything we want, does come our way when it is meant to! :)

God forbid we don't get it, or something comes in the way... Be patient and have faith to know that if god shuts one door, he'll surely open another one. You just need to be ready and willing to walk through it... But I'm sure, my hope, faith and prayers are strong enough for me and my loved ones! :)

On a totally unrelated note... Another line from another song... "Just call my name... and I'll be there... :)" ... This shall be a post for another day... If that day comes... :)